the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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