Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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