so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
