If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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