Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
