weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
