I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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