Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
