Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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