she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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