My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I touched a dick in church today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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