sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
