To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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