..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
