Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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