dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
