her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
