**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
