what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
