it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
