R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
