Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you will always have a special place in my vag
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
