Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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