you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
