I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
