I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
