Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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