We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
