People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
