but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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