Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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