i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
