The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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