I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My balls are so social today.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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