if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
