My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
