Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
