i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
