I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
