So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
