I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
