Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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