yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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