i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
