does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
