fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
