what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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