Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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