Whod you bang
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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