I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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