her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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