yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hippo gnu deer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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